The Magic Changed My Life In One Day
So, I guess it didn't take very long at all for me to fall off the Magic wagon. I only lasted a day until I missed one. Luckily for me, I didn't fall off the positive thinking wagon as well. You see, for the past few years, I have had a lot of trouble finding motivation. If there was something that I had to do, I would have the hardest time making myself do it. It wasn't mere lethargy that kept me from completing tasks, but something more. I still can't explain the absolute dread I felt when doing things like completing my college applications, the FAFSA, homework, writing papers, going to class, and even little things like making a call to cancel a magazine subscription. There were times when I would wake up at 6:00 for my 8AM Statistics discussion, get ready, drive to campus, walk to the math building at 7:45, and not be able to go in. I wish I could tell you why I couldn't make myself walk into that building and go to class. I mean, my homework was done, I was dressed, ready for class, and on time. But I couldn't do it, and I know that might sound like a ridiculous lie, but it's what happened. I would just get this feeling of dread, something telling me that I could not do this.
I have been making "To-Do" lists for as long as I can remember, but I can't remember the last time I completed one... or even finished more than one or two tasks on my list. Then, yesterday, I did it for the first time. I made a list of all the things I had to do, and had been putting off for weeks, and I started checking things off from the moment I woke up. My school had charged me tuition for the spring semester, even though I wasn't registered for classes. I had been meaning to call the registration office and sort it out, but I had been dreading it for weeks. I would have to explain that I was no longer registered for classes, and about being dismissed...
Something changed yesterday for me. Somehow, I found my motivation... or some sort of motivation. I still felt the dread right before I made the call, but this time, I also felt something else... hope? Encouragement? Need for accomplishment? I can't explain this new feeling either, but I'm so glad it kicked in when it did.
I am not sure if this motivation is directly linked to my "positive outlook" that I've been trying to maintain this month, but it would be a really weird coincidence if the two events were totally un-related.
Anyway, this experience has renewed my interest in the power of positive thinking. Yesterday night, I reread my last blog post and thanked God again for the 10 things I listed last time. According to Rhonda Byrne, you have to continue to list 10 things everyday for the next 27 days. So here's my next batch of things I'm thankful for:
1. The Sunny Weather today. It's been pretty rainy and cloudy for the past week, and I was pleasantly surprised to see the sun shining this morning. While I didn't get to enjoy it by going outside, I did open up all the curtains and enjoy a well lit home as I went about my daily tasks. I am so thankful for the sunshine today!
2. Email Notifications. I know that may sound like a strange one, but I'm a very forgetful person. I'll write important dates on my Calendar (i.e. "John's birthday" or "bills due"), and forget to look at the calendar. So, I am very thankful for people and organizations that send me email notifications when I have a deadline coming up.
3. Chipotle Burritos. My mom and I had Chipotle for dinner today, something we rarely do. It was special because it gave us time to talk. Usually she is busy cooking (she doesn't trust my cooking) after work, and I'm busy vacuuming or doing laundry or studying that we don't get to bond. Once I find a job, I'm going to start bringing home take out once a week -- it'll give her a break and us a chance to relax together. Thanks God, for Chipotle.
4. I'm thankful for my counselor, Beverly, who would talk with me last semester. She really helped me understand how I was hurting myself by avoiding my problems, rather than facing them. She was the only good, and helpful thing at that school.
5. I'm thankful for my friend, N. I won't mention her name because it's kind of uncommon and I don't want her stumbling across this blog if she googled herself or something. But I am thankful for her because she was the only person who took me out for my birthday this year. I have a good amount of close friends, but somehow no one has ever spent time with me on my birthday. I guess they assume that I'll be hanging out with someone else. But this year, she called and took me out for lunch. It was a small gesture, but I really appreciated it. I'm usually the one calling my friends and taking them out or organizing birthday parties for them. It's nice to have the gesture returned. I'm so thankful for such a good friend!
6. Credit Cards. Need I say why? Haha, for someone jobless, credit cards are a godsend. Of course I am careful about how much I spend, and I intend to pay everything back when I have a job again. But they're so useful in a tight situation. Thanks for credit!
7. Post it notes. I am so glad that I can make multiple lists, notes, reminders, and such and leave them places I'm likely to see. They really do make my life so much simpler -- and I love that! Thanks for post-its!
8. Blogs! I am so glad that I have this blog as an outlet for all the stuff in my life right now. This way, I am able to interact with people and be honest, and still not have to admit everything to my family and friends until I am ready. A few years ago, people like me wouldn't have this option. I'm sure I would have gone crazy suicidal or something. I am so thankful for blogs!
9. I am thankful for toilet paper. In some countries that I've traveled to, toilet paper isn't common (or doesn't exist). People use their hands, water, etc... I'm grateful I have plenty of access to toilet paper!
10. Calculators on your phone! I am SO thankful for calculator applications because I have the ability to do small calculations quickly without wasting time or looking like an idiot!
The Magic Rock
Well, that's my 10 for today. In addition, Magic Day Two instructions require finding a rock to use as a "magic rock." That means you hold it every night and say "thanks" for the best thing that happened that day. The idea is that while you are trying to remember the "best" thing about your day, you will relive all the great things that happened that day, which reinforces your positive attitude.
Today, the best thing that happened was that I got refunded for 4 months of my Chegg Membership. I had signed up for the homework help way back in November, and meant to cancel my membership after a month. Being me, I forgot and they kept charging me for four months! I only noticed yesterday, so I called them this morning, hoping to get a refund for this past month. But the customer service agent was SO helpful, and she refunded all the months that I didn't use the service. I got a 60 dollar refund when I was only expecting 15! Getting more money back than you initially thought is a pretty great feeling in general, but when you're as cash-strapped as I am, it's the absolute best! :)
I hope you're all having lucky days!
Love,
Silver
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