Magic Day 3: Magical Relationships

Magical Relationships

The third exercise of Magic, by Rhonda Byrne, is to be grateful to the people in your life. You are to chose three of your closest relationships, get photos of each, and write five things you are most grateful for about each person.

I would recommend buying The Magic by Rhonda Byrne if you are interested in taking this journey.  The book has much more detailed instructions and explanations about each exercise and why we follow them. Used copies are available of The Magic are available on Amazon for around $7.00 -- a very reasonable price for such a useful book! That's less than a burrito and a drink at Chipotle! 

Anyway, for my 3 relationships, I picked a friend who I'll call N, an old friend who I'll call J, and an old neighbor, C. I refrained from picking anyone in my family, because I am thankful to them everyday so I thought I'd mix it up a by picking people that I forget to be thankful to.

For some introduction, N is a friend who I met in high school. We went to separate universities, but we have still managed to stay very close, which I think is a sign that our friendship will endure. N has always been very moral, a bit of a goody-two shoes. She always kept me grounded and has helped me make good decisions on more than one occasion. Friends like that are worth more than gold.

1. Thank you, N, for not judging my honest mistakes.
2. Thank you, N, for kindly letting me know when I did something wrong, and still standing by my side and helping me fix the situation as a true friend would.
3. Thank you, N, for always telling me the truth -- even when you knew it would hurt me. And thank you for being there to support me when I was hurting.
4. Thank you, N, for encouraging me to work hard in school, and showing me how hard work pays off in the end.
5. Thank you, N, for being so considerate on my last birthday, and insisting on taking me out. You really made me feel special :)

J is someone that I met when I started working at my first real job. He was a very charismatic, ambitious, and witty guy. We shared a lot of the same interests and quirks, and he showed me that it's okay to be myself. I learned that I don't have to work so hard to seem perfect all the time, and that it's okay to be silly and weird.

1. Thank you, J, for showing me that there ARE people just as quirky as myself out there in the world.
2. Thank you, J, for being perceptive and knowing when I was sad or upset. And thank you even more for always making me feel better!
3. Thank you, J, for indulging my love for puzzles and riddles and being the best riddle partner I've ever had.
4. Thank you, J, for introducing me to modern instrumental music. It's something I never would have known I loved if it wasn't for you!
5. Thank you, J, for showing me that there are truly loyal people in the world -- just when I'd given up hope. Thank you.

C was like a second mom for me. My own mother is an extraordinary woman. She works really hard to support our family, and on top of working 50-60 hours a week, she still makes time to cook for us, do housework, go grocery shopping, etc... But while I was growing up, my mom was very strict. She gave us 100% and she expected it in return. She had no patience for trifling issues like friends being mean or boys teasing us in school. If I had trouble with a friend at school, or if my crush asked another girl to the winter formal, C was the person I would cry too. Her soft, caring, maternal words would comfort me instantly, and her wise advice guided me safely through the emotional roller-coaster that is high school.

1. Thank you, C, for believing in me. Thank you for giving opportunities to babysit which taught be to be responsible and handle money responsibly. 
2. Thank you, C, for telling me that I could do anything and teaching me not to accept limitations due to my race or gender.
3. Thank you, C, for setting a great example of an adult. I've learned so much about what makes a great person from growing up watching you.
4. Thank you, C, for being on my side. Thank you for taking me to summer camp, and making sure that I was in the group that I wanted to be in before leaving. Thank you for picking me up from school when my parents couldn't make it. Thank you for fighting for me when a teacher was being unreasonable and unfair.
5. Thank you, C, for being a second mother to me. Thanks for the make up tips, fashion tips, and just advice in general on surviving grade school. You really showed me that it does take a village to raise a kid. Thanks for being a village :)

Counting my Blessings

Wow. That took up more time than I thought it would. Luckily, the magical relationships exercise is something that only lasts for one day. The other two, the Magical Rock and Counting Your Blessings is a continuos exercise that I have to do everyday until I finish the book.

So, here are my blessings for today:

1. My friend, N, for all the reasons I listed above. I am so thankful to have her as a friend.
2. My old friend, J, for the above reasons. I am so thankful to have met him!
3. My old neighbor, C, for the above reasons. I am so thankful to have her.
4. My Macbook. I am so thankful for my laptop because it gives me a convenient way to do my homework, connect with my friends, store pictures, work on my blog, etc...
5. Netflix. I am especially thankful for Netflix on a day like today, when I am sick (with a common cold, I think). Netflix gives me a chance to entertain myself as I rest and drink lots of fluids.
6. My electric blanket. I am so thankful that electric blankets exist. It keeps me warm when I am cold or sick so that I can still sit in cold rooms in my house and feel comfortable.
7. James Franco. I am thankful for this actor because his capacity to focus gives me hope that it can be done. He is such an inspiration by going to school while acting, teaching, and still doing other projects. Thinking of him gives me hope, and I am so thankful!
8. Cameras! I am so thankful that we live in the era of digital cameras and instant portraits! We have the ability to photo-document our entire lives -- not just rare, premeditated moments.
9. Always Infinity.  Might be a strange thing to be thankful for, but I'm sure that all the girls who tried it are thankful! It's so good to be able to sleep confidently when mother nature pays a visit :)
10. Chocolate. Nothing makes me feel instantly better like chocolate does. I am so thankful for chocolate and everything that it enhances (i.e. chocolate milk, cookies, strawberries, etc...).

Magic Day Two: The Magic Rock Experience

The Magic Changed My Life In One Day

So, I guess it didn't take very long at all for me to fall off the Magic wagon. I only lasted a day until I missed one. Luckily for me, I didn't fall off the positive thinking wagon as well. You see, for the past few years, I have had a lot of trouble finding motivation. If there was something that I had to do, I would have the hardest time making myself do it. It wasn't mere lethargy that kept me from completing tasks, but something more. I still can't explain the absolute dread I felt when doing things like completing my college applications, the FAFSA, homework, writing papers, going to class, and even little things like making a call to cancel a magazine subscription. There were times when I would wake up at 6:00 for my 8AM Statistics discussion, get ready, drive to campus, walk to the math building at 7:45, and not be able to go in. I wish I could tell you why I couldn't make myself walk into that building and go to class. I mean, my homework was done, I was dressed, ready for class, and on time. But I couldn't do it, and I know that might sound like a ridiculous lie, but it's what happened. I would just get this feeling of dread, something telling me that I could not do this.

I have been making "To-Do" lists for as long as I can remember, but I can't remember the last time I completed one... or even finished more than one or two tasks on my list. Then, yesterday, I did it for the first time. I made a list of all the things I had to do, and had been putting off for weeks, and I started checking things off from the moment I woke up. My school had charged me tuition for the spring semester, even though I wasn't registered for classes. I had been meaning to call the registration office and sort it out, but I had been dreading it for weeks. I would have to explain that I was no longer registered for classes, and about being dismissed...

Something changed yesterday for me. Somehow, I found my motivation... or some sort of motivation. I still felt the dread right before I made the call, but this time, I also felt something else... hope? Encouragement? Need for accomplishment? I can't explain this new feeling either, but I'm so glad it kicked in when it did.

I am not sure if this motivation is directly linked to my "positive outlook" that I've been trying to maintain this month, but it would be a really weird coincidence if the two events were totally un-related.

Anyway, this experience has renewed my interest in the power of positive thinking. Yesterday night, I reread my last blog post and thanked God again for the 10 things I listed last time. According to Rhonda Byrne, you have to continue to list 10 things everyday for the next 27 days. So here's my next batch of things I'm thankful for:

1. The Sunny Weather today. It's been pretty rainy and cloudy for the past week, and I was pleasantly surprised to see the sun shining this morning. While I didn't get to enjoy it by going outside, I did open up all the curtains and enjoy a well lit home as I went about my daily tasks. I am so thankful for the sunshine today!

2. Email Notifications. I know that may sound like a strange one, but I'm a very forgetful person. I'll write important dates on my Calendar (i.e. "John's birthday" or "bills due"), and forget to look at the calendar. So, I am very thankful for people and organizations that send me email notifications when I have a deadline coming up.

3. Chipotle Burritos. My mom and I had Chipotle for dinner today, something we rarely do. It was special because it gave us time to talk. Usually she is busy cooking (she doesn't trust my cooking) after work, and I'm busy vacuuming or doing laundry or studying that we don't get to bond. Once I find a job, I'm going to start bringing home take out once a week -- it'll give her a break and us a chance to relax together. Thanks God, for Chipotle.

4. I'm thankful for my counselor, Beverly, who would talk with me last semester. She really helped me understand how I was hurting myself by avoiding my problems, rather than facing them. She was the only good, and helpful thing at that school.

5. I'm thankful for my friend, N. I won't mention her name because it's kind of uncommon and I don't want her stumbling across this blog if she googled herself or something. But I am thankful for her because she was the only person who took me out for my birthday this year. I have a good amount of close friends, but somehow no one has ever spent time with me on my birthday. I guess they assume that I'll be hanging out with someone else. But this year, she called and took me out for lunch. It was a small gesture, but I really appreciated it. I'm usually the one calling my friends and taking them out or organizing birthday parties for them. It's nice to have the gesture returned. I'm so thankful for such a good friend!

6. Credit Cards. Need I say why? Haha, for someone jobless, credit cards are a godsend. Of course I am careful about how much I spend, and I intend to pay everything back when I have a job again. But they're so useful in a tight situation. Thanks for credit!

7. Post it notes. I am so glad that I can make multiple lists, notes, reminders, and such and leave them places I'm likely to see. They really do make my life so much simpler -- and I love that! Thanks for post-its!

8. Blogs! I am so glad that I have this blog as an outlet for all the stuff in my life right now. This way, I am able to interact with people and be honest, and still not have to admit everything to my family and friends until I am ready. A few years ago, people like me wouldn't have this option. I'm sure I would have gone crazy suicidal or something. I am so thankful for blogs!

9. I am thankful for toilet paper. In some countries that I've traveled to, toilet paper isn't common (or doesn't exist). People use their hands, water, etc... I'm grateful I have plenty of access to toilet paper!

10. Calculators on your phone! I am SO thankful for calculator applications because I have the ability to do small calculations quickly without wasting time or looking like an idiot!

The Magic Rock

Well, that's my 10 for today. In addition, Magic Day Two instructions require finding a rock to use as a "magic rock." That means you hold it every night and say "thanks" for the best thing that happened that day. The idea is that while you are trying to remember the "best" thing about your day, you will relive all the great things that happened that day, which reinforces your positive attitude.

Today, the best thing that happened was that I got refunded for 4 months of my Chegg Membership. I had signed up for the homework help way back in November, and meant to cancel my membership after a month. Being me, I forgot and they kept charging me for four months! I only noticed yesterday, so I called them this morning, hoping to get a refund for this past month. But the customer service agent was SO helpful, and she refunded all the months that I didn't use the service. I got a 60 dollar refund when I was only expecting 15! Getting more money back than you initially thought is a pretty great feeling in general, but when you're as cash-strapped as I am, it's the absolute best! :)

I hope you're all having lucky days!

Love,
Silver

Just Do It. Day One of Magic.

So, you all have probably figured out by now that I am terrible at doing what I say I'm going to do. I don't even know how long it's been since my last post. It's so easy for me to make plans to change my life, but that's the easy part. My biggest problem seems to be following through with the plans I make. Recently, I've started saying "just do it" to myself when I start getting lazy. When I'm in the middle of cleaning my room, and I glance at my open laptop, I'll start to convince myself that it's in my best interest to take a facebook break. But I stop myself, look at my messy room and say "just do it!" It works 80% of the time.

Anyway, the very first step of MAGIC is to make a list of 10 things that you are grateful for in your life, and say "Thank you" (to god, a higher power, the force of the universe, or whatever you believe in) three times for each of those. You are supposed to do this everyday for 28 days. So, if I start today, I will be finished on March 20th.

Here goes.

I am so very thankful for the following things in my life:
1. My family. They are my biggest source of support, and I am so thankful that they are healthy, happy and safe. I thank God for them every day.
2. My best friend, Jenny. We have been friends for so long that I barely remember what life was like before her. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive, caring, thoughtful best friend. Our friendship has survived so many tests, that it is one of the few constant things in my life. I am so thankful for it.
3. My Mom. I know I already said family, but I am SO thankful for my mom, I feel that she needs a category for herself. My Dad isn't the most reliable person, and he really isn't a part of most of my life. But I barely felt the lack of a father figure because my Mom has worked so hard to be both parents for me. She would read over my homework, go to every parent teacher meeting, attend all my orchestra concerts, throw my birthday parties, teach me to drive, counsel me when I needed advice, and work full time. On top of that, she would always encourage me to chase after my dreams -- of course that was after making sure I would have a degree to fall back on. I thank God for her everyday.
4. Facebook. I am so thankful to live in an era where I can communicate with almost anyone with the push of a few buttons. The fact that the world is becoming so much more connected is really a marvel -- and a convenience.
5. Smartphones. Again, I am so thankful to live in an era where I don't have to worry about getting lost or being stranded. Of course it may still happen, but the chances are less likely. With GPS navigation and ability to make emergency calls, I like feeling a little safer.
6. The internet. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have been born in the information age, when I have access to answers to almost any question I can come up with. And what's more amazing, I can get those answers in an instance!
7. The U.S.A. I'm glad I live in such a diverse country. I'm not saying that racism, sexism, homophobia, and such don't exist here, but there I've seen more tolerance here than any other place I've traveled. I've seen so much racism and sexism in parts of India, Korea, Jordan, and even Germany, that I've forgotten  I've had such a rare opportunity by growing up in a very diverse society. The novelty of seeing people with different skin and hair and eyes and features than me have worn off. I don't think twice when I see an interracial couple. And I see nothing wrong with a woman learning to shoot a gun, or holding hands in public with a man she's not married to. The small freedoms we take for granted don't exist all over the world. I was once chastised for speaking too loudly when I was in India. Thank God I was born in America!
8. Contact Lenses! Thank God that people with less than perfect eye-sight don't have to be "four-eyes" for the rest of their lives. I am so thankful for contact lenses!
9. E-readers. Advances in technology seems to be a theme for me today. But I am so thankful for my nook, it was the most well spent $69.00 of my life. I have an entire library at my fingertips in less than 6X4 inches of space. The best part: the e-ink display doesn't strain my eyes when I read. Best. Invention. Ever.
10. Herbal Tea. I've recently been introduced to Chamomile Tea, which cures my tension head-aches like no other. I've lived my whole life with headaches when I get especially stressed, and I am so thankful for this cure. I'm so thankful for herbs in general, really.

Well there you go, 10 things I'm grateful for today. That was a little harder than I thought. It's difficult not to go on tangents when you are thinking of these things. But I feel good. Thinking of these things helps me remember why the world is a great place. Sure there are lots of terrible things and people in it, but there are good people and good ideas and good aspects to it, also.

It's late, and I need to sleep. Until tomorrow  --

Silver

Law of Attraction: Starting to Read The Magic

Hello Everyone,

I haven't had a chance to write in a while because I came down with the flu recently. As a result, I had to quit the special K diet (turns out living off cereal isn't the best way to fight the flu). I'm feeling much better now, although I am still a little congested.

So, instead of restarting my diet, I decided to start a new kind of diet. A spiritual diet. I've been hearing about the Law Of Attraction, and Rhonda Byrne's series of books on it for a while now. I've been a skeptic my entire life, so the idea of being able to manifest whatever you want seemed a little "out there." But, I was thinking about my life recently, and I've realized that I'm at a point where I really don't have much left to lose. Why not try out this Law Of Attraction craze? I mean what would I really be risking? What would anyone be risking? It's just a philosophy that tells us not to worry about getting our hopes up.

This image is taken from Amazon.com, and it is a customer image.
Here's the URL: http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/1451673442/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_1?ie=UTF8&index=1&isremote=0

Luckily, Rhonda Byrne released a book called The Magic (above) earlier this year, and unlike her other books, it more of a manual to improving your life using the Law Of Attraction. The book is broken into 28 chapters, each containing a step that you must follow in sequence for 28 days. I downloaded the Nook version of the book because I have a Nook Simple Touch eReader that I prefer over hardcopies. It cost me $9.49, which isn't much to lose even if this ends up not working. I am hoping that it does work, and that I become happier with my life and accomplish some goals in the next 28 days. I'll be starting it tomorrow, and I'll blog everyday to keep a record of my progress. Hopefully, I'll have some positive results for you at the end of my journey.

Wish me luck!

Silver

Special K Diet: Day 3

Good morning!

If you live in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area, Happy first snowfall of the year!

Luckily it's less than a couple inches where I live, which is just the way I like snow -- just enough to cover the ground.

So, I've noticed that I've put on a little weight this past year. Not too much for it to be obvious, but enough that I have difficulty making my clothes fit. I'm about 5'1" and I weighed 19.5 lb when I started the Special K Diet (2 days ago). For those of you who don't know, the Special K Diet consists of 3 meals:

Breakfast: One bowl of any Special K Cereal, with 2/3 cup of skim milk and a serving of your favorite fruit.

Lunch: A Special K protein shake, OR a Special K protein meal bar, OR another bowl of cereal and fruit.

Dinner: whatever you normally eat

You are allowed TWO snacks a day, a choice between:

• Special K Protein Snack Bars
• Special K Cereal Bars
• Special K Pastry Crisps
• Special K Crackers and Chips
• Special K Protein Water Mixes

Now, I'm not a big fan of dieting; I have very little will-power (it's one of the things I'm working on developing this year). But I was drawn to this diet because it promised that I would lose one jean size in  two weeks! I thought this was perfect because most of the other diets I have tried are usually a month long, and I could never make it that far. But two weeks seems like a very do-able amount of time. I also like the fact that I can eat whatever I normally eat for dinner. The hardest part of a full time diet is that I start craving the things I normally eat, and once that starts it's just a matter of time until I give up on dieting. So being able to eat one regular meal a day keeps me from craving my old unhealthy lifestyle.

Before starting the diet, I did go out and buy a bunch of Special K products, and at first I was dubious about the ulterior motives that Special K might have (making me buy all their products!), but I went to target and the bill was a little less than 20 dollars (including a couple things I had picked up that weren't Special K), so I'm not complaining about the price. If it helps me lose weight, I would consider those 20 bucks a GREAT investment :)

Here's what I picked up at my local Target:

I'm a very picky eater, especially when it comes to fruits and veggies. Raspberries are one of the few berries that I actually like. And I'm planning on cheating a tiny bit by substituting Wheat-Thins as one of my daily "snacks." If I have 10 crackers, then it should run around 100 Calories, which is the same as having Special K pastry crisps. I really don't think it'll make much of a difference, but I really wanted some variety in this diet.

I'll keep you guys posted on how the diet works out for me. I started out at 19.5 pounds, and my goal is to be at 13.5 lb on February 6. The diet promises that I'll lose "up to" 6 pounds, but I better lose at least 4 pounds in 2 weeks. Otherwise, this is a complete waste of money.

Here are some pictures of my lunch, and my weight on Tuesday:

Hope you're all making progress in your New Years Resolutions!

Silver

How To Get Over A Guy

Earlier today, I had the misfortune of running into an... ex-flame of sorts. I say ex-flame, because he was technically never my boyfriend. I'll call him John for convenience. So, I met John a couple years ago when I got my first real job. We immediately hit it off, and grew very close in a matter of weeks. He was like the boy version of me! I knew he had a girlfriend, and it wasn't a big deal at first because I never really thought about pursuing anything with him. But as we became better friends, we started hanging out more outside of work. His girlfriend was going to school far away, so I didn't think about her much. And as months went by, John and I became inseparable. We would go see movies together, get dinner together, confide in each other, and stay up really late just talking to each other. I knew that this relationship was becoming slightly inappropriate, but I would just tell myself that it was okay because John and I never engaged in anything physical. We never kissed, and we barely ever hugged. So he wasn't cheating on his girlfriend, right? Wrong.

Just because we didn't have a physical relationship, doesn't mean that we didn't have an emotional one. And personally, emotional affairs are just as painful, if not more painful than physical affairs. Because getting over John was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Eventually, his girlfriend started realizing that I was becoming a more regular aspect of his life, and she didn't like it. Long story short, he picked her.

This wasn't the first time I've had to get over some guy, but it certainly was the fastest. Here are some tips that helped me.

How To Get Over a Guy:

1. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. This is the most important step! Ever hear the saying, "out of sight, out of mind?" It really does work. I know this is harder said than done, but it is worth it. If you are keeping yourself updated on his life, you will only obsess about what could have been. Keeping your distance means removing him (and his new girlfriend) from your news feed on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever other social network you both use. It might also mean removing his close friends who constantly post statuses and updates about him. Don't contact him and avoid anything that might be a source of information about him. The point is, DO NOT, under any circumstances, look him up. 
2. ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU NEED FOR CLOSURE. It's easier to do this after a week or so of distance from him. Really sit by yourself, and speak aloud about your feelings. Talking to yourself helps you figure out how you feel. Sometimes, we're tempted to confide in our closest girlfriends and ask their opinions, but that only makes it harder for you to isolate and understand your own feelings about the break-up. Ask yourself how you feel towards the guy now, after some distance. Do you still feel like you are in love with him? Do you think he's in love with you? How do you feel if you think he still loves you? How do you feel if he doesn't love you? How do you feel about the whatever happened that lead to the break-up? Betrayed? Sorry? Guilty? Ashamed? Suffocated? Is there something that you would like to get from him that would give you closure? An apology? An explanation? A confession? Now consider if it might be beneficial for you to go see you ex (NOTE: DO NOT SEE HIM UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETELY CONFIDENT THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE IN CHECK). The only reasons to see him would be if you need to return his things, or if you really need something (i.e. an apology, explanation, etc...) from him.
3. MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.  Sometimes, people tend to let a relationship define them. Use this post break-up time to rediscover what you love about you. After all, how can you expect someone else to love you, if you don't even love you?
4. GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. So what if you're single? You're not dead. Get a group of friends and go enjoy the beautiful world you live in. Volunteer at an Animal Shelter. Take a Painting Class. Sign up for a marathon. Go watch a play at your Community Theatre. Finish the New York Times Crossword without cheating! When you're doing something new and exciting, you leave less time for worrying and moping. So spend your time enjoying life, and know that when one door closes, another one opens :)

I really hope these tips help you get over a bad relationship. They helped me a lot, and after seeing John and his girlfriend today, I can finally say I'm over him =]

Silver

Taking Charge of My Finances: Step One

Hello all,

I know I haven't written on this blog in a while, but that's because nothing much has been happening. This month has been flying by. At the beginning of January, I promised myself that I would work hard to meet my goals of reducing my debt and finding a job to save up for returning to school. But I've been spending the last two weeks waking up at noon, lounging around the house watching TV and such. Before I knew it, I realized that I had already wasted half the month doing nothing!

But I'm happy to say, that instead of getting depressed and ranting about how much I hate myself, I signed up for a free online course on Coursera.org called "Fundamentals of Personal Financial Planning." Now I know that it's only the first step in reaching my goals, but it's a step nonetheless. I really like Coursera because it allows me to learn for free. It's a website that hosts many different classes in a variety of Topics from different Universities (some of them are rather prestigious). In addition to the Financial Planning class, I'm taking a Cryptography class from Stanford, and a basic programming class from the University of Washington. These classes just started this past Monday, so I'll be keeping you updated on my progress.

Today, I finished the first week of lectures for the Personal Finance class, and I just submitted my homework assignment (which I got a 100% on). It isn't difficult at all, and I'm sure the subject is very diluted to make sure that everyone can follow along, but I'm still glad about it. If nothing else, at least it serves as a confidence booster.

This week I'll be making an assessment of my net worth -- which I'm sure will be a VERY negative number. But I need to know where I stand in order to know how far I need to climb.

I'm exhauseted... I think this gloomy weather is translating into my mood. It's been rainy/foggy/cloudy for the past five days or so. I'm going to make some tea and go find something productive to do!

Laters!
Silver